Rediscovery

I go to bed and my heart aches a little-


Just a little.

I can hear your voice and see your face,

And I want to believe everything will

Be okay.

But, I lie there pretending to sleep,

And my mind keeps spinning

Like a race car about to crash

Because, ultimately, it all comes

Back to me.

I reach for the phone,

Press a button for your name.

Hesitate.

Put it down.

Pick it up.

Try again.

..The crazy wall is strong as ever.

And part of me feels it shouldn’t be this way.

But, I’m utterly lost in this place

So commonly familiar to everyone but me.

You’re the moon and

I’m the tide-

Following blindly-

Every rise and fall of my core

Hanging on your words.

And it’s suffocating-

But, the pillow rests not in your hands.

No.

You’re lovely,

And we’re fine,

But, me-?

I’m a mess of emotions-

Making great whales

Out of guppies.

The phone glows silent, beside me in the darkness.

I leave it.

I close my eyes and focus on me.

Think of things that make me smile.

Try to remember who I am.

Why, hello there, stranger.


It’s been a long time…

It’s been far too long of a time.