What does it mean to love someone? Can anyone really answer that question definitively? I’m not so sure. Love is a very subjective feeling stemming from so many things going on within our brains: past experiences, memories, ways we have conditioned ourselves to feel about love. Some might argue that, yes, love is experienced differently, but there is only one way to truly love another person. And I can’t answer that either. Not for anyone else, at least. Some people love like the flick of a lighter- hot, quick, and then it’s over. Some people love like a wild fire- quick to heat up, intense, and raging out of control, ultimately burning everything in its wake. Then some people, they love like an ember- a small speck of heat growing slowly, with nurture and nature coming together, building, building, BUILDING until the warmth is all encompassing; all around them. It’s honestly contained and quietly passionate. Some of these are harmful and destructive, but each one serves a purpose in our lives. Sometimes, we love quickly because we are happy and naïve and we think tomorrow can’t catch us if we live in today. Other times, we have that kind of love that is dysfunctional and overbearing, but fulfilling in some strange way. Like a bittersweet candy- a lemon drop round and yellow- stuck in the crevice of the tongue. It wreaks havoc on everything you are until there is nothing left. But some people are lucky enough to find real love more than once in a lifetime. Some might say that you cannot love, the truest of love, more than once in a lifetime. But, I would venture to say they are wrong. See, to me, true love is not something that has an expiration date or something you can try to dictate.
So, I guess it comes back to the original question: what does it mean to love someone. It’s hard and wonderful, complicated and beautiful, but in the end- really so simple. Loving someone means wanting what’s best for them, even if it’s not what is easiest for you. It’s about accepting someone for who they are at their core and not trying to alter it or change it to conform to your needs. Who they are already should be enough for you. Loving someone means bringing out the best part of them and allowing them to do the same. You should love them for their attributes as well as their faults. Love means compromise. Love means being honest and vulnerable, even though that means letting someone see your weaknesses. Love is not jealous or vindictive. Love involves being humble. It is communication even if it’s three in the morning and you feel like you can’t keep your eyes open. Love is letting your pride take the backseat. Love is the bravest, yet scariest thing you will ever do. Love is unconditional- you cannot with hold it just because someone isn’t ready to give it back. Love is finding someone who makes you feel like you are at home in any given place.
Yeah, it’s hard. We’ve established that. But, it’s not impossible. And I certainly don’t feel it is impossible to find more than once. You just have to open yourself up to it. That’s the hard part- realizing there are no guarantees. We might hesitate to say that we love someone for fear that it might not be returned. But, if you don’t take the risk- you’ll never know. And life is too short not to say it out loud.
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