Hurricane

You're blowing through,
like a steady moving hurricane.
You leave a trail behind
a thousand memories wide-
Yet, you place the blame
At my feet, the same ones
that haven't felt the ground in quite
some time,
Still there you go, walking away.
But, just far enough that I can't
leave you behind.
Quick, you remind me that
I must stay
Under lock and key, and your
watchful eyes,
Tied up, bound beneath all
your lies.
And the promise that things
would get better with time.
But, the victim shouldn't pay for the
criminal's crime.
So, I'm flat on the floor,
with the dark skies above.
And, I tell myself hate isn't a
measure of love.
Because the winds will calm,
and the skies will clear,
And I'll be so much better-
Without you here.

#RandomRant

Why is it that I’m always doing things so much differently than other people? Why is it that I try and try, but still don’t reap the same reward? Why is it so hard for me to do the simplest things? I ask myself these questions often, but mostly in vain. I feel like I’m on this teeter totter. And I’m shifting- back and forth. Up and down. Between places that I terrify me, and places I long to be. But, I want so badly to just stop, and be in the place that makes me happy. Most people would wish for money, or fame, or for a new car, or for a loved one to be returned to them. Me? I just want to be happy. I just want to be content. What is it about me that makes that so hard to find within myself? I just don’t know. And, I wish I did. My mind knows that happiness is a state of mind. Something you choose. But, somehow I'm still trying to figure it all out.