I had lunch today with one of my oldest friends. We've been meeting up frequently for lunch and has been so nice to reconnect with him. It reminds me of what a great guy he is and how much fun we have. We ate at this new Mexican place in town, and I highly recommend it...now if I could only remember the name. LOL-yeah I know-not very good to recommend a place and not know the name of it. Oh-well. What topped the whole afternoon off? My friend was not only great company-he paid for my lunch :) I thought that was a really nice thing of him to do.
So I started off with light, fun things, an especially fun title (clever huh? no? well-I tried); but I'm nothing if not honest and I'm about to discuss something very personal to me. I am about to embark on a new journey in my life. Well, maybe not so new but definitely a journey. My sister has been going to a doctor who has helped her lose some weight. The program has seemed to work really well for her. She asked me if I would like to give it a try because she thinks I would really like the doctor and the program. Now, some people might be offended by this, but the reality of the situation is: I need to lose weight. It seems everyone does these days. My weight has always been my pitfall; my "weakest link" if you will. It has been the cause of deep rooted depression (along with other aspects of my life), many shed tears, the butt of many jokes, and a wall for me to hide behind.
I know I would be more happy if I lost it. Got rid of it. Bye-bye flab. The thing is, I learned to hate myself a log time ago. I learned to take the twisted lies and knotted up insults that I heard and turn them into a kind of "truth" that I let myself believe. I let the opinions of others form my thoughts of myself. I recently read some old journals that I kept and it actually scared me. I know it's only by the grace of God and love from family and friends that I made it through. I refuse to go back to that place. I am not happy fully with the person I am on the outside or inside. It is a work in progress, but...aren't we all. Aren't we all nothing but walking canvases on which the picture of our lives is painted? I used to think that everyone else had it all figured out, then one day I took a good look around and I realized: they were all just as confused as I was.
Now I'm not saying that all of my life's problems are going to be solved if (I mean "when") I lose the weight. But in realizing that I made a huge step in the right direction. I am going to live my life on my terms and be the best person I can be. I am not going to hang my happiness on the hanger of other people's opinions of me. I'm going to allow myself to love all of me-every perfection and every flaw. If I don't, how I can I expect anyone it from anyone else?
Liz, you should never even attempt to lose weight because someone else thinks you should. It has to be your own conscious decision to make a change in your life and in your health. Take your time and weigh your options to do what's best for you. Don't let anyone else affect how you feel about yourself :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! It took many years to realize this, but that is one of the perks of growing older...we realize so many things we wished we'd known before.
ReplyDeleteThanks for popping by :)