Links to You

I want to write a sentence to explain

these feelings-
A verse so brilliantly woven
It spans the thin line between
What has already been experienced
And what is yet to come.
Words tightly pulled together,
Jumping from the page to
Grab you,
Pull you in by the piece of your heart
That steadies the beat of my own.
I want it to reach you,
Floating effortlessly over the
Space that lies between us-
Surrounding you in a sheath
Of my emotions.
And you will feel it around you.
When you’re walking.
When you’re laughing.
When you’re sleeping.
As you’re dreaming.
And you’ll think of me-
And smile…

Courage to Speak

Lyrics:
(not finished completely...still needs a bit of work)

You’re like a gravitational force, pulling me in

A large black hole-
No beginning, no end.
Just warm, amber comfort
Like brandy on my lips
On the harsh nights of winter
As the wind comes round in clips.
Cutting through the loneliness,
Expose the love beneath.
See it peeking through.
Being brave enough to reach.
**Chorus Intro**
And I’m scared- so scared
To show it,
To let you see it there.
Those words remain
Unspoken,
Hang suspended in the air.

*Chorus*
And all the while- yes all the while
My heart is screaming
What my mouth won’t say.
I love you-
I love you-
I love you-
In every little way…
Yeah in every little way.


The waves keep time outside the door
Crashing and rolling,
Surging for more.
Your hand hooked with mine,
Rests on your chest.
Of all of our moments-
I remember this best.
My heart- in your pocket- is along for the ride.
I’m safe in your arms,
But can’t swallow my pride.



And I’m scared- so scared
To show it,
To let you see it there.
Those words remain
Unspoken,
Hang suspended in the air.

And all the while- yes all the while
My heart is screaming
What my mouth won’t say.
I love you-
I love you-
I love you-
In every little way…
Yeah in every little way.

Remnants of Perfection

Lyrics:

It’s a little like perfection

In this moment with you,
Where the sky is green
And the grass is blue.
You’ve turned my world
Up-
Upside down.
If this feeling is an ocean,
Well then, baby, let me drown.
Let it take me in completely,
Let it swallow me whole
Until the only thing that’s left
Is the essence of my soul.

(Chorus)

You-
You charged in,
And changed my life.
Remember when
We kissed
That first time
Your heart, it beat,
Along with mine.
Time stood still
And I still feel
That way.


I could walk down any street
And see your face a million times-
Hear the tenor of your voice,
As it echoes in my mind.
From the little pizzeria
That serves your favorite pie.
To the clovers on the sidewalk
That match the color of your eyes.
All these tiny remnants
Trace a smile across my lips.
The pieces come together,
And it’s such a seamless fit.


You-
You charged in,
And changed my life.
Remember when
We kissed
That first time
Your heart, it beat,
Along with mine.
Time stood still
And I still feel
That way.

**Bridge**

All the things I want to do
I only want to do with you.
And if that’s love,
Then take the shot.
I’m only giving
All I’ve got.
And I know you’re invested too
Giving equal parts of you.
And it fills-me-up-inside.


You-
You charged in,
And changed my life.
Remember when
We kissed
That first time
Your heart, it beat,
Along with mine.
Time stood still
And I still feel
That way.

Growing Up, I Hit A Glitch

Remember when lightening bugs

were fairies?
When boxes were kindgoms,
And dreams were apples waiting to fall from
Their luscious, green homes
Right into our laps?
We savored them completely,
Sweet juices running down our chins.
It was that easy.
It was that magical.
Because we didn’t know better.


We hadn’t yet bitten into a
Façade of sweetness,
Only to discover the rotten core
That was lain within-
The remnants of things that
Once were pure and true,
Now reeking with an achrid stench.


Where goes that wonder?
Where goes that trust in that
Which we have no reason to trust at all?
Where does it exist,
But in the heart of childhood?
We watch,
We wait,
We pinch,
We pry,
We protect,
We predict.
But, when do we ever just believe?
Saccharine or rancid,
Win or lose,
The orchard is there
For the taking.

Late Bloomer

Little late bloomer

With your little doe eyes.
Spring came, but you
missed it.
Lingering low-
Just beneath the
Surface…
Always content to
look up,
But never believing
there was a place for you
In the sun.
Wouldn’t it feel lovely
against your skin?
Wouldn’t you like to linger there?
Just linger there glowing in
all that light…
In all of that beautiful light..

New Year, Lessons Learned, and All That Jazz

Trying to move posts from another blog to this one...dates be damned.

It’s the final hours of the year, and I’m left as I always am: pondering. Reflective. I don’t think I have ever felt more sentimentally attached to a year as I do this one. I am, in no way, the same person I was at this time last year. God knows 2010 was a rough year for my family and I- and though there were definitely things I wished for- I was just happy to have made it to and through the holidays together. Little did I know that the upcoming year would provide me with memories and experiences I never thought I would acquire. They weren’t always beautiful, but they were always, always essential. I was inspired, I was loved, I fell in love, I felt beautiful thoughts, I endured painful consequences, I read lovely books, I laughed at jokes- some witty, others not so much, I listened to music and sang songs that stirred my soul. So, in celebration of saying goodbye to 2011, here is a small, hindsight list of lessons that personified this year for me:




- Don’t run away. Even when you think it’s easier or will bring you more joy. It won’t.



- Put positivity out into the world. It usually comes back 10 fold.



- Every day may not be beautiful, but there is beauty in every day.



- When given the choice- choose happiness. Always.



- Furthermore, never rely on someone or something to decide your happiness. Only YOU are in charge of that, and it is a state of mind you must CHOOSE (see above).



- Don’t spend your present worrying about a future you can’t control.



- Do things that make you HAPPY.



- Concurrently, surround yourself with people who make you happy and lift you UP, not the ones who bring you DOWN.



- Own your feelings. Talk about them, write them down, whatever it takes for you to identify and acknowledge them.



- Don’t just give love with the expectation of getting love in return. When you truly love, it’s not a choice, and it’s given without stipulation.



- Believe that it’s okay to not know some things. Life is a learning process. As long as you are always striving to further that knowledge, that’s all that matters.



- NEVER SETTLE for less than you deserve or REST on what you have already achieved. Growth doesn’t happen by standing still.



- Sometimes you have to walk away from what you WANT in order to get what you NEED.



- Allow yourself (and others) time. Don’t rush things. Just let situations play out.



- SMILE. You might be surprised by what it does for you and others.



- Give (honest) compliments. Sometimes, the littlest kindness can make the difference between someone and their breaking point.



- When people say relationships are hard work—they aren’t kidding.



- Don’t lose yourself in someone else, no matter how happy they make you. That happiness, much like a bubble, could burst at any moment and you still have to know yourself outside that protective, shiny barrier.



- Always be yourself. As Dr.Suess said: People who mind don’t matter and people who matter don’t mind.



- Make goals and celebrate little successes.



- The only way to push PAST fear is to push THROUGH it.



- Being fearless isn’t having no fears. No- being fearless is being scared to death, but jumping anyway.



- Life is hard and crazy and beautiful and chaotic and amazing. Even in the moments where you think you are literally breaking apart piece by piece. Because there will come a time when you realize that pain and those scars have made you who you are right now. And what a beautifully broken person that is!



Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2012 is wonderful for you all.

Bird of Summer

You could be my bird of summer, just like the song sings. Gliding lovely in nature about my existence, enjoying the view and the feeling of sun on your back, but sensing the winter looming- inevitable. And I could cry and beg, plead with you not to go- tears flowing freely like the memories we’ve made. I could give you an ultimatum- all or nothing- with or without. But, I know where that would leave me in the end. And I would deserve that for making you choose between school , your dreams, everything you’ve ever worked for and myself. I know greatness awaits you. I know that when the cold winds and swirling snow threaten your flight, you will persevere. Because that’s what you do- you persevere. So, I will not attempt to clip your wings or harness your ambition in the cramped quarters of a fraudulent birdcage. Instead, I will relish in everything you are now and watch with wonder at the person you become. I will fill you up with every good thought about you and me and us- tucking them away like little pieces of Spring inside your heart. I will support you. I will shine in the glow of your excitement. I will listen to your fears and concerns, your voice unsteady and mildly strained. Then I will try my best to chase those thoughts away, back to their dark corners- command that they stay-wait for the confidence to resume. I will tell you to go. I will love you more than I love my own selfish wants and desires. I will stand still knowing that I am better for just having known you and all of the wonderful things you’ve taught me- about life and love and beauty. I will watch you and celebrate as you fly away, only breaking apart on the inside, knowing that if we are destined to be together-if it’s God’s will- you will find your way back. To home. To me.




Bird of Summer by A Fine Frenzy